You’ve done the research. You’ve realised that the same old circular arguments and the slow drift into feeling like flatmates isn’t something you have to just put up with. You’ve found a tool—a relationship app—that you genuinely believe could help you and your partner reconnect.

Now comes the hard part.

How do you broach the subject without them hearing: “I think you’re broken, and this app is the instruction manual for how to fix you”?

Bringing up the idea of a relationship app can feel like a high-stakes diplomatic mission. One wrong move and your partner might get defensive, dismissive, or just think the whole idea is a bit… cringey.

But a successful conversation isn’t about “convincing” them you’re right. It’s about framing it as an invitation to a shared project. Here’s a practical guide to making the pitch.

Step 1: Get Your Own Head Straight First

Before you say a single word, you need to do a bit of prep. Your partner will instantly pick up on the intention behind your suggestion.

• Check Your Motivation: Are you coming from a place of love, optimism, and a desire for us to be even better? Or are you coming from a place of frustration, armed with this app as your latest piece of evidence for why they need to change? Be honest with yourself. If it’s the latter, take a breath. The conversation will only work if it’s a positive invitation, not a passive-aggressive complaint.
  
  

• Anticipate Their Scepticism: What’s their likely objection? Is it "We don't need that"? Or "That sounds a bit American and fluffy"? Or "Isn't that for couples on the brink of divorce?". Thinking about their potential concerns allows you to frame your pitch in a way that addresses them from the start.

Step 2: Frame It as an Upgrade, Not a Repair

This is the single most important part of the conversation. Your framing will determine whether they see this as an opportunity or a criticism.

• Timing is Everything: Do not bring this up during a row, after a row, or when one of you is stressed, hangry, or halfway out the door. A calm, neutral moment is your friend. A weekend walk, a quiet moment after dinner, or a long car journey are all good options.
  
  

• The ‘Repair’ Frame (What to Avoid): “I think we should try this because we’re not communicating very well and we keep having the same fights.” (Translation: You are bad at communicating and fighting.)
  
  

• The ‘Upgrade’ Frame (The Zonda Way): “Life has been so busy recently and I feel like most of our chats are about work and life admin. I saw this app and it looked like a fun, interesting way for us to connect about different stuff. Think of it like a gym membership for our relationship—taking something that’s already good and making it even stronger.”

The Upgrade frame is positive, collaborative, and focuses on adding something good, rather than fixing something bad.

Step 3: Make it a Low-Stakes, Easy 'Yes'

You want to make saying "yes" as easy as possible. Remove the pressure and the feeling of a huge commitment.

• Propose a Trial Period: Frame it as a no-big-deal experiment. “How about we just give it a go for a couple of weeks? If we think it’s rubbish or it’s not for us, we can just delete it. No harm done.” This lowers the bar to entry and makes it feel less daunting.
  
  

• De-stigmatise the Idea: It helps to normalise it. You can explain that it’s not old-school, heavy therapy in an app. It’s a modern tool for proactive couples. This is where you can use other resources to help. You could mention, “It’s interesting, I was reading about how it’s not meant to be a replacement for a therapist, but more like a personal trainer for your connection.” You can even show them our article on Can an App Replace a Therapist? to make the distinction clear. This shows it’s one of many modern Alternatives to Traditional Couples Counselling that smart couples are using.

Step 4: What If They Still Say No?

Even with the perfect pitch, your partner might still be hesitant. How you handle a "no" is crucial.

• Don’t Push: Getting frustrated or angry will only confirm their fears that this is an attack.
  
  

• Get Curious: Instead of defending your position, ask a gentle, open question. “Okay, I hear you. Can you tell me a bit more about what makes you hesitant?” The reason might surprise you—perhaps they’re worried about data privacy, or had a bad experience with therapy in the past.
  
  

• Leave the Door Open: "Fair enough. Let's park the idea for now. Thanks for talking to me about it." This ends the conversation on a positive, respectful note and allows you to potentially revisit it in the future.

We designed Zonda to be practical, smart, and non-cringey, specifically for people who are sceptical of traditional self-help. The focus on actionable exercises and witty, down-to-earth guidance makes it an easier ‘yes’ for a hesitant partner. Suggesting you try one of our free exercises together can be the perfect, low-stakes first step.