Insights from Ollie Markham, Founder of Perch Peek and Unakin

It’s the question no one asks in the pitch meeting: How do you actually make your relationship work when you’re trying to change the world?

In the inaugural episode of the Ambition and Love podcast, host Alyssa Taylor (Founder of Zonda) sat down with startup founder Ollie Markham (Perch Peek, Unakin) to discuss the raw reality of building two companies while nurturing a long-term partnership with his fiancé, Kimia.

Ollie, who recently navigated a stressful funding round and the process of buying a home as an entrepreneur, reveals the intentional frameworks he and Kimia use to keep their relationship stable amidst the chaos.

1. Stress Management: The Long Game vs. The Spike

Many expect the highest pressure point in a founder’s life to be a massive failure or success. For Ollie, the most intense stress came during a volatile fundraising period when a deal almost collapsed. He admits the stress was so high he experienced night sweats.

However, Ollie notes that the real challenge isn't the spikes; it's the cumulative build-up of small sacrifices over time.

"I think more of the issues maybe come from just like it's a long journey and things build up cumulatively and there's a lot of periods of time where you have to sacrifice things."

The Solution: Stability as a Shield

Ollie attributes his ability to handle work stress well to having a stable home life. He views his relationship with Kimia as the "most important thing" and a source of stability that allows him to power through startup challenges without getting "too up or down".

2. The Core Challenge: Time, Energy, and Presence

While managing practical time is difficult (working on holidays, restraining late nights) , Ollie notes that the more significant issue is managing energy and presence.

"I think often I am not present sometimes in conversations when we are supposed to be having quality time. And I know for a fact that that really frustrates her."

Ollie had an unexpected "lightbulb moment" when he witnessed Kimia, who was working on her own project, glued to her phone and distracted. It made him realize how frustrating his own lack of presence must be for her.

The Framework: Scheduled Intention

Ollie and Kimia rely on two key, intentional practices:

• Scheduled Date Nights: They schedule time every fortnight and switch responsibility for organizing the date. This ensures they share the effort and consistently find fun things to do together.

  
  

• Device-Free Evenings: They work hard on making time device-free, recognizing how easy it is to be "glued to [a] device". Ollie admits they "fail so many times" and may need extreme measures (like a timed lockbox) to get that feeling of closeness and intimacy back.

3. The Need for Partner Independence

When asked for the one piece of advice he would give to a new founder, Ollie offered a warning that directly relates to his relationship with Kimia:

"I would just not advise any startup founder who like wants to do that for the rest of their life, to be with someone who is not independent, who is like possessive of your time, who maybe has kind of like insecurities around that."

He stresses that Kimia's high degree of independence—her many hobbies and thriving social life—is essential to their success as a couple, preventing them from worrying about time constraints. He suggests that a partner who is secure in themselves and willing to root for you—even if it means less time—is non-negotiable.

4. Work and Love: Parallels in Conflict

Alyssa and Ollie discussed whether the process of searching for a co-founder is similar to dating, a concept Ollie was familiar with through the "Love Island for founders" program, Entrepreneurs First.

Ollie noted that the most important factor in both relationships is long-term compatibility.

• Shared Vision: Just as co-founders must agree on building a "really big business" vs. a "lifestyle business" , partners must align on their long-term goals (e.g., marriage, children).

  
  

• Open Conflict: Ollie credits Kimia with teaching him to be really honest in an empathetic way. This learned skill of being "upfront" in the relationship translates directly to effective conflict resolution with employees and co-founders.

5. The Financial Drawbacks and Milestones

Ollie also touched on the unexpected financial realities of startup life: the difficulty of securing a mortgage as a founder , and the constant feeling that you must reach "another milestone and another milestone" before taking personal steps like wedding planning or having children.

While Ollie jokes that he'll "blitz through" having kids , he acknowledges that these major life events often get delayed by the pressures of limited runway and delegation difficulties in an early-stage company.

Final Takeaway

Ollie’s honest reflection serves as a powerful reminder that stability in the chaotic startup world starts at home. The solution isn't luck; it's a commitment to intentional strategies like scheduling time, prioritizing presence, and choosing a partner who values independence and shared growth.