All long-term couples develop their own secret language. It’s a complex tapestry of shared jokes, knowing glances, and the specific type of grunt that means, "Yes, I agree we should get a takeaway, but I’m too tired to look at the menu right now."

Sometimes, this shorthand is a sign of deep, efficient intimacy. Other times, it’s a sign you’ve stopped having real conversations and are now just... making noises at each other.

So, how’s the signal in your relationship? Are you loud and clear, or is it just static? Time for a quick, no-judgment MOT on your communication. Grab your partner (or just answer honestly for the both of you) and let's find out.

1. It's the end of a long day. You ask, "How was your day?" The most common response is:

A) A one-word answer while scrolling through their phone. "Fine," "Alright," "Busy."

B) A practical list of events. "Well, the meeting was moved, then I had to sort the car insurance, and traffic on the M25 was a nightmare."

C) An actual account of their day, including how a particular meeting or event made them feel.

2. A minor disagreement is brewing – what to watch on the telly, for instance. What happens?

A) One person gives in with a theatrical sigh and then sits in stony, resentful silence for the rest of the evening.

B) You spend 10 minutes negotiating like you’re hammering out a trade deal before settling on something neither of you is particularly chuffed about.

C) Someone says, "You know what, you've had a long week, let's watch your thing," in a way that genuinely doesn't feel like a trap.

3. The dreaded topic of life admin comes up (e.g., "We really need to sort out our energy supplier"). The conversation usually involves:

A) One person mentioning it, the other person audibly groaning, and the task being quietly added to a shared 'To-Do List of Doom' where it will live for the next six months.

B) A fairly efficient, if unenthusiastic, chat about who is going to deal with it. The task gets done, but the conversation is purely logistical.

C) A collaborative chat that involves a bit of a moan about price hikes, followed by a clear plan: "Okay, you do the research, I'll make the call. Let's get it sorted Thursday."

4. You can tell your partner is stressed and in a mood about something. Your go-to move is to:

A) Give them a wide berth. Best to just stay quiet, make them a cuppa, and hope it blows over.

B) Ask "Are you alright?" and accept their inevitable "I'm fine" at face value, even though you both know it's not true.

C) Wait for a quiet moment and say, "You seem a bit stressed. Do you want to talk about it, or would you rather have some space?"

5. You need to make plans for the upcoming bank holiday weekend. The process looks like:

A) A series of assumptions are made, plans are half-formed with other people, and it culminates in a low-level argument about why no one ever properly plans anything.

B) A text exchange a few days before: "Pub Monday?" "Yeah, sounds good."

C) Sitting down together with the calendar a week or two before to ask, "What do we actually want to do? A bit of life admin, see some friends, and have some downtime just for us?"

6. After a proper row, an apology usually sounds like:

A) A mumbled "Sorry" that’s clearly meant to just end the conversation, with no real acknowledgement of what went wrong.

B) "Look, I'm sorry if what I said upset you." It's an apology for the reaction, not the action.

C) "I'm sorry. I was out of line when I said X. That wasn't fair, and I get why you're upset."

Time to Tally Up! What's Your Result?

If you answered mostly As: Broadcasting on Different Frequencies

Right now, it feels like you're both talking at each other, not to each other. Conversations are getting missed, signals are being crossed, and it’s probably leaving you both feeling a bit lonely and misunderstood. You’re making noises, but they’re not connecting. This isn't a sign of failure; it's a sign of disconnection. To get back on the same wavelength, it helps to revisit the fundamentals. Our Communication Guide is packed with simple, practical tips to get you started.

Your next step: The goal is to get back on the same wavelength. The guided conversations in the Zonda app are designed to do just that – they give you simple, structured prompts to help you start talking with each other again, without the pressure of having to find the right words yourself.

If you answered mostly Bs: Functional but Fluent in 'Fine'

You two are a crack team when it comes to running your life. You’re a well-oiled machine of logistics, planning, and getting things done. You can coordinate a supermarket shop like a military operation. But the emotional, vulnerable, non-practical conversations have taken a backseat. Your communication is efficient, but it might be lacking a bit of intimacy. You're great flatmates, but you might be missing the deeper connection.

Your next step: It's time to move from the practical to the personal. The challenge is to go beyond the surface. The exercises in the Zonda app are specifically designed to help you bridge that gap, creating a safe space to talk about feelings, dreams, and fears, not just whose turn it is to take the bins out.

If you answered mostly Cs: Speaking the Same Language

Give yourselves a pat on the back. This is a brilliant foundation. It doesn't mean you never argue or misunderstand each other (that would be weird), but it means when you do, you have the tools to navigate back to each other. You can handle conflict, you can share vulnerably, and you operate as a genuine team. You’re not just making noises; you’re communicating.

Your next step: Don't get complacent! Good communication is a muscle. You have to keep using it. Think of Zonda not as a rescue mission, but as the maintenance plan. It’s the relationship 'gym' you can visit anytime to keep your communication strong, ensuring you stay on the same page for years to come.